


I Booped The Snoot

by ThyShaltNot



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 05:31:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThyShaltNot/pseuds/ThyShaltNot
Summary: After having to regenerate from one cell again, Wade Wilson (Deadpool) has to be babysat by Negasonic and Yukio where they are able to bond on a new level and Negasonic learns something new.





	I Booped The Snoot

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this may be an odd subject or thought but, personally I think Negasonic having to put up with a baby Deadpool would be the cutest thing ever so here it is. Also if you enjoy another Yukionic fanfic I also wrote "My Reasoning" and "The F Word" so go read those too if you like this one.

It had been months since anyone had seen Deadpool. In a way, most people had hoped that he was dead for good this time but that was unlikely. He was like a God, almost impossible to kill and could regenerate his organs and limbs faster than any other human could but, if he wasn’t dead then where was he? 

The doorbell rang and Colossus answered. “Yes?” There was no one there just a baby sitting on the ground. Colossus almost shut the door before hearing the baby coo and laugh, waving its hands around. “What the?” He bent on one knee and tickled the babies tummy “WADE?!” The baby wore a miniature Deadpool suit with the mask off. It’s face looked burnt scarred. 

The baby shook its head “What happened to you? You’re so…Small!” The baby blasted its hands out and made an explosion noise. “Oh, not again Wade” The baby shook its head in agreement. 

Negasonic walked by and paused a moment. Seeing a random baby sitting on the ground talking to Colossus wasn’t an everyday thing she had seen. 

The baby leaned over and waved at Negasonic. Her eyes widened and she began to quickly walk away to avoid being pulled into whatever the hell was going on but it was too late. Colossus quickly ran up to her and grabbed her by the collar of her leather biker jacket and carried her over to the door like a mother carrying their kittens. “It’s Wade” He said sitting her down next to him. 

“Yeah that’s why I tried to leave” She said with her arms crossed “Whatever he got himself into this time, I’m not doing it” 

They heard a very excited voice behind them yelling “BABY!” It was Yukio pushing herself past them and sitting on her knees in front of Wade. “Hey!” She waved at him and he waved back. She didn’t seem to care that it was Wade, she only cared that he was a baby at the moment and she loved babies. Really Yukio loved pretty much everything. She held her arms out to pick him up and he reached out receiving the hold. She picked him up and held him to her side and smiled at Negasonic. “I know it’s Deadpool but we got to take care of him till Weasel comes and gets him later. So...Babysitting time!” She cheerfully said bouncing Wade. 

“No, I’m not babysitting him. We already have to babysit him enough as an adult, babysitting him as a child is perhaps 110% worse” Negasonic said looking at Wade then back at Yukio. Wade’s bottom lip quivered before he let out a loud cry. Negasonic raised an eyebrow and leaned back “Oh we’re going to play that game now?” 

Yukio shushed at Wade and bounced him again then looked at Negasonic “Ellie, he’s sensitive as a child. You can’t say those things to him, at least not yet. Wait till he gets around 8 then you can tell him to leave you alone” She then wiggled her finger at him and he grabbed it playing with it. 

Ellie rolled her eyes “I can’t believe you’re falling for this bullshit” 

“He’s actually kind of cute” Colossus laughed and tickled Wade again making him giggle while Colossus swooned over his cuteness. 

“I’ll leave you guys to this non-sense” Ellie said then began to walk away. The second she turned around Wade screamed then started to cry reaching for her. 

Yukio and Colossus awed “He wants you to stay” Yukio said with a pouting face. 

“Yeah he wants you to come hold him” Colossus said. 

“No, I’m not holding him” She said. 

Yukio headed towards Ellie and held Wade out to her “Come on” 

“No, mmm mmm, nope, no” With every no Ellie said Yukio got closer to her with Wade. Ellie began to back up before running into a wall. She was cornered by Colossus and Yukio holding the most disgusting baby she had ever seen. 

Yukio then held baby Wade only inches from her. Finally Ellie held her hands out and took Wade from her, she realized she had no choice. Wade automatically started to reach for her face “No, you’re not touching my face” She walked by Colossus and Yukio holding Wade out away from her face as if he was a disease. 

Yukio smiled and clapped her hands together and looked up at Colossus “Give it a minute. She’ll give in eventually” 

Colossus crossed his large metal arms “A baby is a baby and who doesn’t love babies? Let’s just hope she doesn’t blast him across the courtyards” 

Yukio’s eyes widened “Maybe I shouldn’t leave them alone” She ran after Ellie to make sure she wouldn’t toss him in the trash can or try to shove him into the garbage disposal piece by piece again. 

~ 

Ellie sat baby Wade on her bed before shaking her hands and whipping the imaginary germs onto her black ripped jeans. She then sat on the bed next to him while he played with a string on the sheets “Why do I always get stuck with you?” She looked down at him. He didn’t pay any attention, the string was his only concern. Ellie sighed before looking around the room trying to think of what to do. What do babies like? What do they do? How do you even feed it? She pulled out her phone and began to search away trying to look for games and stuff for him to do. 

Wade started to lean to the side of the bed following the string to the side of the bed. Ellie felt the dent in the bed beginning to release and quickly reached over to grab him by the belt of his little red and black pants to keep him from falling. His weight pulled his pants down leaving him mooning Ellie and hanging over the side of the bed “WADE YOU LITTLE SHIT!” She yelled looking away and dragged him up by his pants so she could pick him up off the bed and pull them back up. 

He laughed, patting Ellie on the shoulder. She grabbed his hand and held it to his chest “Keep your hands to yourself” In that moment Yukio ran into the room and was relieved to not see Wade being hung from the ceiling fan. Ellie looked at Yukio “This is torture. Is this revenge for me forgetting to make you your coffee this morning or is this how you say ‘Hey I don’t love you anymore so take this man child instead’?” 

Yukio sat on the other side of Ellie “It’s only temporarily. Besides I thought it’d be fun and give you something new to learn” She laid her head on Ellies shoulder. 

Baby Wade stared at them with his eyes big and sparkling in innocence with drool running down his chin. Ellie looked over at him and arched her eyebrows down in confusion “What?” He looked at Yukio then back at Ellie then back to Yukio, not blinking or closing his mouth, just letting the drool run out like a waterfall. Ellie looked at Yukio who then looked at her “What? You think we’re cute together?” He shook his head yes in a daze as if he didn’t know what she was saying but then again did know. 

Yukio grabbed a tissue and wiped the drool off of him “I think so too” She winked at him. Ellie looked straight ahead and blushed trying to avoid eye contact. She wasn’t used to blushing, smiling, laughing or being lovable towards Yukio around people unless they were alone. She didn’t want Wade to see her soft side. Not Yet. Yukio noticed Ellies comfort being invaded. “Sorry” She shrugged with a smile. 

“It’s okay” She smiled back to her girlfriend. Wade’s jaw dropped and he jumped back. He had never seen Ellie smile ever in his life, he didn’t know that emotions existed with Ellie. He thought that some dark wicked witch cursed her and stole her heart which took away her ability to feel emotion or have expressions of emotions. The fact that Ellie did have emotions other than anger blew his tiny little mind. 

Ellie looked at him and rolled her eyes “Damn it. He’s never going to give this up” She said with a straight face again. He shook his head side to side. 

Yukio got up and grabbed him “Let’s play some games” She said. 

“That’s what I was looking up” Ellie said holding up her phone. 

“Well let’s go” She said holding out her hand for Ellie to take. Ellie stood up and grabbed her hand. Wade yelled again throwing his hands to the side “What? What is it?” Wade whined and pointed to their hands “You want to hold hands?” He bounced his head. “Okay” She sat him down then glared at Ellie and mouthed ‘be nice’ to her. Ellie of course rolled her eyes and let out a groan. 

Wade held Yukio’s hand then looked up at Ellie who glared down at him. He then grabbed her hand with a smile and Ellie bit her tongue and swallowed hard to stay quiet. 

They walked together down the hallway to the large living room and sat on the floor. Wade sat between them but closer to Yukio who was playing with his hands and making him dance before she had an idea “Stay here” She said before running off again. 

Wade crawled over to Ellie and patted her leg “Yes?” He then pointed to his mouth. “I’m not kissing you” He pouted. “No, not happening” He then point to his mouth again and nawed. He was hungry. “You want a snack?” He shook his head. “Okay then let’s go to the kitchen and find you something” She stood up and began to walk off before she looked back at Wade who was still sitting on the floor in the living room. Ellie groaned “You’re going to make me carry you?” He shook his head and held out his hand. “I’m not holding your hand again” She said. He began to whine and pout. “Really?!” She said before walking back over to him and taking his hand. He stopped crying and happily got up and walked with her to the kitchen. 

Once they got to the kitchen she picked him up and sat him on the counter then opened the fridge. “I don’t even know what babies eat. What do you want?” She turned to him. He played with his hands not even paying attention. Ellie huffed and grabbed a chocolate pudding and closed the fridge “Do you like pudding?” She said holding out the pudding for him to see. He looked up and reached out for it and cooed. She smirked, opened the cup and grabbed a spoon from the drawer. “Here” She said. He opened up his mouth while she put the tip of the spoon in his mouth. He squished the excess pudding out through his lips leaving Ellie having to catch it with the spoon and push it back to his mouth and wipe the pudding off his face. “Stop spitting it out” She growled but he didn’t stop. She had to keep the cycle of feeding, catching, feeding, wiping and repeating. 

Finally when he was done eating. She threw the cup away and tossed the spoon in the sink. Wade looked at Ellie then reached for her. “What do you want?” She said walking over to him on the counter. 

He reached up and poked her nose saying “Oop” which she knew he meant ‘boop’. That was Wade’s thing, even though Ellie hated being touched she had accepted Wade booping her nose as a way of ‘hugging’ her. Wade then smiled at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. 

She took his tiny hands and held them “You’re an asshole for making me babysit you and you’re trying to be cute on purpose but I must admit. This is kind of fun” He laughed then took his hands out of hers and started to smack her face lightly “No, no” She said with a giggle grabbing his hands again “You can boop the nose but no smacking the face” 

Yukio had been hiding behind the door frame smiling the whole time since she saw them enter the kitchen. There was something about Ellie taking care of a child that was so attractive. Not in a sexual way but in a way that made her fall in love with her even more. Ellie may have a hard time with expressing herself and may be moody most of the time but there was no doubt that she’d be a great parent once she got over her social awkwardness. 

She continued to watch Ellie talk to Wade in a way that she never thought that she could talk to him before. Usually she’d be calling him names, punching him, kneeing him in the face or blasting him across the yard but this time was different, it was like something all the suddenly clicked in her. 

Yukio came out from hiding and walked over to them. She smiled at Ellie with love in her eyes “What?” She said looking up and down at Yukio to see what was wrong “Is something wrong, do I have pudding on my face?” 

Yukio shook her head “No, you’re just perfect” She then kissed Ellie on the cheek. 

“Okay?” Ellie smiled but was confused. 

“Did you get him something to eat?” She tickled his belly. 

“Yeah, I did. He ate chocolate pudding” Yukio punched Ellie’s shoulder “Whaaaat?” She said rubbing her shoulder. 

“He’s like two at the moment!” She raised her voice. 

“So?” She said looking at him. 

“He can’t have that stuff yet” 

“Oh my god does that mean he’s going to die?” She looked at him concerned for once. 

Yukio started laughing “No but it can be bad for his tummy. You should’ve seen your face though, it looked like you actually cared about him for a minute” Ellie went back to her usual angry face and stared at Yukio who was laughing still. 

“That wasn’t funny” She said crossing her arms. 

“Oh yeah it was” She leaned over to Ellie 

“Was not” 

“Was” 

“Not” Ellie leaned in closer to Yukio. 

“Was” She leaned closer poking Ellies nose. 

Ellie looked down at her nose then back at Yukio “Not” She leaned in closer. Now their noses were almost touching. 

“Was” Yukio said softly before kissing Ellie on the lips and grabbing Wade, holding his hand and making him wave Ellie goodbye mouthing ‘byyyye’ to her. 

Ellie growled and marched after them. She wasn’t too happy for being mushy with Wade all of a sudden but it was something that she couldn’t quite control now. There’s something about him being a baby that made her want to actually spend time with him. Perhaps it was the fact that he couldn’t talk therefore, couldn’t make fun of her or talk her ear off. 

They sat on the couch in the living room. Yukio sat him in her lap and began to bounce her legs so it looked like he was riding a horse while Ellie laid down at the other end of the couch. He laughed and giggled then pointed at Ellie. “Oh no. You’ve already made me weak once. You’re not doing it again” She glared at him but Yukio gave him to Ellie anyways. 

“Come on El, it’s only for today. It won’t kill you” She poked her in the side. 

“Fine” Ellie said. Yukio sat him on top of her on her stomach and he shuffled to where he was straddling her upper stomach just below her chest. He grabbed the necklace wrapped around her neck and started to play with it. “Yukio gave that to me. I wear it all the time so no matter how far apart we are, we’re always together” Wade looked down at her and started to feel her face and put the necklace in his mouth. Surprisingly enough instead of punching him for touching her face she only grabbed his hand with the necklace that was now covered in drool but let his other hand tug on her hair at the top. “Hey” She shook her head “Don’t pull hair. It’s not nice” He ran his hand down her forehead and nose down to her lips. He then pressed his index finger to her lips to tell her to shush. “I know you’re not telling me to shush” She said. He pressed his finger to her lips again. “You want to play a game? I know a good one that’ll make you feel better. It has to do with silence.” Wade clapped his hands together. “Let’s play hide and seek” Wade raised his hands above his head and let out a cry of joy. 

Ellie picked him up and then got up and held Wade at her side then looked at Yukio “Are you ready to play?” 

Yukio jumped up in excitement. “You guys hide and I’ll count” 

“Okay” Ellie smiled and headed to the hiding place she had in mind. 

They headed down the hallway and up the stairs to the second floor. “Where should we hide Wade?” He pointed to the hallway closet “Are you trying to say something about me?” He laughed while patting the center of her chest “You’re not funny” She said. He stopped laughing and glared at her and she glared back. 

They heard Yukio yell out “Here I come!” and Ellie made a run for it to the closet. Wade snickered. 

“Shut up Wade. You know I’m not afraid to throw you out there.” He stopped and turned his head away from her and pouted. 

They could hear Yukio walking around down stairs then heard her head upstairs. Ellie wasn’t really into these kind of games but it gave them something to do until it was time for Weasel to come pick Wade up. 

Yukio stopped outside the closet door and knew exactly where they were, she could feel it plus she could hear Wade pouting and Ellie telling him to stop being such a baby. Yukio opened the door “You know you guys aren’t very good at being quiet” 

Wade crossed his arms still pouting. Yukio bent over and picked him up from Ellie’s lap. He played with Yukio’s pink bangs and mumbled something. “What?” Ellie said getting up from the floor and shutting the closet door. “What did you say?” She looked at him then to Yukio. 

“Ma” He said putting Yukio’s hair in his mouth. 

She took her hair out of his mouth and said “Ma as in mama?” He shook his head then pointed at Ellie “Ma” 

Ellie felt like she was going to puke “No, I’m not your mother and I feel bad for whoever IS your mother.” Yukio punched Ellie’s shoulder again and glared at her. Yukio glaring scared Ellie because she had always seen Yukio smiling. So when she became serious it was terrifying and her eyes would look into your soul. “Okay fine. I’ll be your mother” She choked on the word ‘mother’ “but only for today” He clapped his hands. 

“Okay now it’s your turn to count” Yukio said bouncing wade again to keep him from whining. 

Ellie went downstairs and started to count while Yukio hid with Wade. She opened her eyes and yelled “Ready or not, here I come!” and started her hunt for her girlfriend and the little shitster Wade. She looked into almost every room on the first floor. It was summer so most of the mutants were gone on vacation visiting family of those who were still accepted by family or went with others. Only a small hand full of mutants stayed at the school. 

Ellie headed up the stairs and paused for a moment. She thought she heard someone walking by but it probably was just another student walking around but then when she looked down the hallway she thought she saw a tiny red and black suit run by. She took off running down the hallway and skid around the corner and headed to her room where she saw the door shut. 

She opened the door and there they were on the floor playing with stuffed animals. Yukio looked up “We got side tracked” She said with her usual cheerful smile. Ellie sat on the floor next to them and watched as Wade played with a stuffed teddy bear and a giraffe. 

“Is that MY teddy bear that you’re chewing on?” Ellie took the teddy bear away and looked at it’s ears which where now nawed on and stripped of its fur. “No!” She said shaking the teddy bear at Wade. Wade started to cry and Yukio once again glared at Ellie. Ellie felt bad and looked at the teddy bear then at Wade. That teddy bear was her everything since she was little, it was like a security blanket. Wade needed someone now more than anything so she leaned in and tilted the teddy bear side to side. “Hey, Wade.” She said in a gentle low voice “Look at me” He sniffled and rubbed his eyes “Let me tell you story” She gave it to him and then picked him up and sat him in her lap. She grabbed the back of the teddy and moved its head as if it were alive and talking to Wade while he held it. “My name’s Mr. Teddy and I came a loooong way to get here. I started off in Albuquerque, New Mexico and I traveled all the way over here through tough terrains and I almost gave up but something told me not to. So I didn’t” Ellie began to get choked up. To Wade this was just a story but to Ellie she was telling him about her, about how far she had come and why this simple little teddy bear was so much to her. “I needed someone so I found Ellie and then together we finally found home. A place where we belong” Wade hugged the teddy and Colossus knocked on the door. 

“Weasel’s here to get him” He said waving his arm out towards the hallway. 

“Okay, give us a minute” Yukio said. She reached over and wiped away the tears on Ellie’s cheek “Time for him to go home” She got up and waited for Ellie 

Ellie shrugged and put her tough face on again “About damn time” She said handing Wade to Yukio. Wade whined and pointed at Ellie “What?” He pointed to her hand. “You want us to hold hands while we walk you down?” He shook his head “Alright” 

Yukio Sat him down and gave the teddy bear to Ellie who held onto it. They held hands with Wade in the middle and they walked down the hallway, down the stairs and lastly to the front door where Weasel stood there waiting. “Hey there you baby Freddy Krueger fucking an avocado” 

Before handing him over Ellie kneeled next to him and gave him the teddy bear “Take him.” She said. Wade reached up and poked her nose saying ‘boop’ this time. Ellie laughed and said “boop” back, poking his nose. She stood up and looked at Weasel “Please take this spawn of Satan away before I have to blast him across the yard” 

“Yeah sure” he said looking confused. 

After Wade had left with Weasel Ellie caught Yukio smiling at her “What?” 

Yukio hugged Ellie then kissed her “You’re progressing and it’s cute” She pinched her cheeks then kissed her again. 

Ellie rolled her eyes “You wish” She said before they shut the door. ~ 

The next day the doorbell rang and Yukio answered it. It was Deadpool all grown up and new again. “Konichiwa Yukio” He bowed and she bowed back. “Nice to see you again. I just wanted to come by and thank you and Negasonic for taking care of me” He held his arms out and spun around for her to see. 

“Give me a minute” She turned around and called for Ellie who was laying on the couch a few feet away to come to the door “Guess who’s here?!”. 

Ellie raced to the door thinking she’d see baby Wade again but was disappointed. “Oh, you” She said. 

“Well I missed you too, you angry furby” He said. 

Aaaaand there it was, the old Wade was back but instead of being angry, Ellie actually missed him. She ran into his arms and hugged him. 

Everyone gasped “WHAT THE SHIT STICKS?!” Wade yelled with his mouth open in awe and his arms out to avoid getting them ripped off if he hugged back “What dark sorcery fuck is this?” He looked down at the small short punk who held onto him tightly. 

“Shut up and hugged me back before I change my mind and punch you” She said. 

Wade hugged her back. “You cute little smol bean child.” He said kissing the top of her head. 

Ellie then ripped away from him “Nope you ruined it” She walked away and headed back into the mansion. Yukio fangirled and Wade joined her as they jumped up and down clapping for Ellie being mushy and lovable for once. 

“A for effort” He cheered and hugged Yukio. “By the way, give this to her” He handed Yukio the teddy bear she had given him before he left and winked. “I promise I won’t tell anyone what happened” 

Yukio smiled “Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll be thrilled” Wade smiled and headed back to the car “See you later Yukio-San, also if it’s not too weird tell mother I said hi and that I love her!” He waved her bye then left. 

Yukio walked into the living room and handed Ellie the teddy bear. “He wanted you to have this. Also he said not to worry about anything. He won’t tell anyone and that if it wasn’t too weird for you, he said hi and that he loved you” 

Ellie scrunched up her face in disgust as Yukio left the room. She looked down at the teddy bear and thought about the words again. She had only ever heard the three words from Yukio and no one else ever before so it was strange to hear someone else say it especially from Deadpool. She smiled and hugged the teddy bear, kissing it on the forehead. She was thankful that she was able to learn such a lesson from Deadpool.


End file.
